Raw Food

It’s the latest in food trends – the raw foods, paleo diets and all round healthier, organic eating.  And that can only be a good thing.

The other day I came across my musings and thoughts not long after our second baby was lost at 7 weeks.  I thought I would share what I wrote.   In those early days grief is so raw.  Raw is for me the best way to describe it – everything hurts.  I was so angry at God.  In a way this was my ‘raw food’

In Another Country

In another country, in another time.  Just beyond my reach and beyond my touch.

No fingers to play with, no cheeks to kiss.  No face to behold and stare at and marvel

The longing never fades, the missing remains, for someone who is part of you.

Our family is apart, some here, some there, but never fully together.  This family portrait is always incomplete.

Other hands attend to you, other voices guide, but not your mum and dad who long to be near

People forget and your memory fades, except for me, I’ll always hold you close and remember when you were carried within those sweet days gone too soon

The pain is immense, nothing fills the void, not even God can replace my child

As years roll by and seasons collide, time stands still for your Dad and I

The promises of God are for others not me, my prayers fell on a heaven that would not hear and would not reply

The one thing I would want you to know from us to you is that you were wanted and loved and now you are missed and always will be

Your heart beat for a few short days within me, but to know you were there listening to my voice was bittersweet

How do you say goodbye to someone you have never met, how do you say farewell when nothing is well and nothing is fair

A chasm is all that’s left of emptiness and confusion, I walk as one who lives but is partly gone

We don’t have the strength to try again to attempt to conceive with the stark reality of further loss and pain

To make peace with the fact that the season is gone to bear a precious infant and hold them in my arms is gone and never to return

You give and take away, you have taken again, you have take our hearts, you have taken our hope, you have taken our boy and girl

Fair Well

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